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Athos' Journal
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Date:2004-05-20 16:07
Subject:Movie Update

In one of my other hobby/pssions, i.e. upcoming movies....

go check out


and see the few pics put up for the new Sin City movie. If you know Sin City, all I can say is....wow. Jessica Alba looks like she just got drawn as Nancy and Bruce Willis makes John Hartigan alive. it looks awesome people, and hey, its by Robert Rodriguez.

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Date:2004-05-14 16:27

Howdy howdy peeps....time for a quick literary inclusion....

"I'll buy a cigarette off you, pal. Here."
He did not look old, although I would not have been prepared to say how old he was. Late thirties, perhaps. Mid-forties. He wore a long, shabby coat, colorless under the yellow streetlamps, and his eyes were dark.
"Here. A quarter. That's a good price."
I shook my head..."Keep your money. It's free. Have it."
"I owe you something...Mn. You want to hear a story? True story? Stories always used to be good payment. These days..." - he shrugged - "...not so much."
"Sure," I said to the man. "Sure. Tell me a story."
He coughed, grinned white teeth...and he began.
"First thing I remember was the Word. And the Word was God. Sometimes, when I get really down, I remember the sound of the word in my head, shaping me, forming me, giving me life. The Word gave me a body, gave me eyes. And I opened my eyes, and I say the light of the Silver city."
"You wouldn't think it of me, seeing me now, but I was Beautiful. I've come down in the world a way since then. I was taller then, and I had wings."
It occured to me that the man might not be mad; I found this far more disquieting than the alternative.
"....and he named me. 'You are Raguel,' he said. ' The Vengeance of the Lord.'"


Murder Mysteries, from Neil Gaiman's Smoke and Mirrors.

ok, I know, kinda long, but damn this book is good....anywho...not much else going on, growing a little dissatisfied with my martial arts status but am feeling better because I am seeing friends again...(Yay the muppet!!)


The Ultimates, issue #12 Captain America after getting beaten up and the bad guy demmanding he surrender.
"Surrender? SURRENDER? Do you think this 'A' on my forehead stands for FRANCE??!!!"

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Date:2004-05-10 07:19

oh, by the way, its addressed to Randy, cuz I actually wrote and sent it to a sportswriter at the star telegram

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Date:2004-05-10 07:17
Subject:Sports eulogy....but good writing....

ok, this is a sports eulogy of sorts..boring if you don't like sports, but, hey, I think I wrote it pretty well...

The Ballpark in Arlington.

In an era of scandal, of steroids, of strikes, of ego, of a player being paid 27 million a year; you could, with a single phrase ignore some of the evils of the game.

You could turn to your friends and family and tell them, "Lets go to the Ballpark and watch a baseball game."

You could smile to yourself as you explained the name to your children, that this was THE Ballpark; you would hear of stadiums selling corprate names, and old traditions dissapearing but still reflect that your team played at The Ballpark. Your team played baseball at The Ballpark. Only ten years old, true, but with a simple name that reminded you of the true spirit of the game. It wasn't corny, it wasn't hokey to say this, it was simply true. Your team played baseball at The Ballpark. The game is still simple, and the game is still great, but when you see the sign for Ameriquest Field, and the constant reminder that even a name is nothing now, that it is just another commodity for advertisement, you have to miss when it was simpler and cleaner, and just about playing a game at the Ballpark.

You are right about this Randy. It isn't about being old-fashioned, it isn't about being too serious, it IS about tradition and all the things that make sport good. Everytime we lose a Candlestick Park, a Mile High, even a humble little Ballpark in Arlington, we loose a trace of history and heritage and a connection with sport. You no longer see your team play in a Ballpark, you see your team and an Enron, a Minute Maid, 3com, PacBell, the list goes on. And when you ask, "Whats the big deal over a name?" Ask yourself this, "What does Ameriquest have to do with baseball in Arlington...what does Minute Maid have to do with baseball in Houston? What do all these corporations have to do with a game, played by YOUR players, in YOUR home?"

And don't even try to say the game has changed, and that was "back in the good-old days" and imagine it some fuddy-duddy idea and image of the 50's.

Once upon a time, a game of baseball was played in a Ballpark. That was Friday.

so...whadda ya think?

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Date:2004-04-28 16:29
Subject:Warning! Warning! bitch-fest!
Mood: bitchy

well...not a complete bitch fest....some recap...lets see here..events in my life lately....

sold my old car to Rach...Melanie is dead, long live Gidget.....found the wonder of BitTorrent..and just in time as my joy with K++ was waning.... downloading lives!

Went to Scarby for the first time ever... had ton 'o fun. Saw old companions and enjoyed their presence. Its great, I like being around Muppet..she makes me feel more alive...(slightly more violent, but...) Jesse is cool because being around him makes me feel more artistic and intelligent, i shit thee not friends... you two be de bomb de bomb.

Got to see Stephers.. even if I didn't see her perform, but I will see that this weekend. Yay yay!

Back to scarby..and I need it...lets see...ok, bitchiness coming...

I wonder if I am fated to die at 54? it might be a possibility because I'm having a mid-life crisis (I think) or maybe just an early life loss of faith

crap...I feel so doubtful as to my place in this damn world. What the hell am I doing? I feel...disjointed, out of space and out of time. I have no one in my hip pocket to keep me in one place... see, I used to have Derrick right there all the time...god I miss that boy. And, we WERE boys! We were young men, and just floated through life on the balls of our feet... now I feel like my fucing feet are weights and I'm just dredgeing through life, not accomplishing jack. I'm surrounded by kids all day...KIDS! and it is so disconcerting because in many ways it feels ok, feels natural and then, *bam* up comes some issue, or thought, or quote or situation and I realize the decade plus I have on all of them. Crap...I keep feeling...one minute ok and the next minute I'm ready to fall down...ladies tell me... am I just having PMS? Christ I feel so crappy...introspective but not even giving a damn...oh well..lets see what the weekend gives me, lets see if I can start getting out again...spend a few sat/sun nights maybe hanging out with people I haven't seen in a while... Muppet/Pheonix.. this is a cry for help!!! ech...blah....grrrrrwwwww


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Date:2004-04-05 18:17

What would you look like as a Wolf by smimmary
Star Sign:
What you
Personality:VERY Evil
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

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Date:2004-03-18 01:38


I love people..but sometimes I wonder why the heck they want to be around here. Apparantly I misunderstood stuff about "my" party tonight. People kept asking me, "Can we have a party at the store on St. Paddy's Day?" I say, "Sure"

and hence the miscue.

Apparantly people thought that my saying yes was a yes to ME 'THROWING' a party...and actually, I was simply saying "Yes, you people can throw a party at my store" see.. for instance...
Meaghan says, "Can we have a party on St. Patrick's day?" my brain gets puzzled because its thinking...'ummmm... you're a grown person, you can do whatever you goddamn well want to, why are you asking me if you can throw a party...ahhh you want to know if you can use my place...' "Yes."
I recently learned from Jen that people have been running up to her going, "Is Ray still throwing a party on St Patrick's?" Miscommunication
I am in the middle of spring cleaning and I was thinking that I was going to simply go home tonight real early and do some work. I have two living rooms worth of stuff that I need to put up and clean up. See... I am genuinely puzzled... why would people want ME to throw a party?

For god's sake people.. I am not a cool person. I am a boring bastard with a sarcastic sense of hunor...this is what I genuinley believe, you know. I am not trying to be falsely modest, but just simply truthful. I feel I am a boring guy and I don't know why people think I am cool. I play some videos, I play some music, I sing and can be a fool and make jokes and stuff... you know I have a quick wit.. I won't be modest about that.. but I feel I am a little to..reclusive or what not. I know that to some people I seem like a complete extrovert but not really. I really am not... I'm just a very self confident person so I can sometimes hang my ass out and act goofy around people.. its not a cool thing, its more of a "I can act weird cuz I don't give a damn thing." so... I dunno... I just had a feel that people were expecting me to throw a party tonight and I feel somewhat bad cuz I didn't exactly throw a great party. I didn't want to disappoint people so I did what I could, but I was kinda caught off guard, I wasn't expecting to do anything tonight.... oh well... I just feel...blah

I'm not cool... I'm somewhat confused by attention I seem to be getting lately. Oh well....
(change gears)

On other ronts... all I'm going to say is..."drama drama everywhere and not a drop to drink"

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Date:2004-02-26 01:44

Ok, for some cool music fans out there....

Jay-Z "The Black Album" +
The Beatles "The White Album" +
DJ Dangermouse =
"The Grey Album"

check out greytuesday.org

This is some tight stuff....c'mon, even if you don't like Jay-Z hearing "What more can I say" but with the underlying mix of "While my guitar gently weeps" is just friggin awesome. Down with the man!!!

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Date:2004-02-21 03:12
Subject:Secondhand Lions

Young Punk: "Who do you think you are, huh?"
Robert Duvall (Whips around and grabs punk by the throat) : "Hub McCann. I've fought in two world wars and countless smaller ones on three continents. I've led thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords to artillery and TANKS! I've seen the headwaters of the Nile, and tribes of natives no white man had ever seen before. I've won and lost a dozen fortunes. Killed many men! And loved only one woman; with a PASSION a FLEA like you could never begin to understand. Thats who I am. (throws punk across room) Now go home boy!"

jesus, I love that scene and line. I love my father, who touts a resume fairly similar to that. If anyone has yet to see THIS movie...I highly reccomend. And yes, Steph/Muppet, I am ALIVE!!! (the stores been kicking my ass lately, thats all.)


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Date:2004-02-19 12:31
Subject:movies, yo

50 First dates was frigging awesome, the best reccomendation I can give it. I laughed, I cried (seriously....) I know, I know, I'm a big douchebag. Screw off.... meh... it was a great movie though, way better than I was expecting... on other fronts...

Man, I need to work out again... weight bench and punching bag is coming back out, oh yeah. Gotta jet...

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Date:2004-02-07 01:56

There is Batt cock on my computer..... i do not need this ego blow to remind me that limp Battcock is as big as hard Athos cock.... Batt sucks....(not really) but having big dick pictures does.

Athos hates Batt cock

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Date:2003-11-21 18:13
Mood: chipper

I have a new icon. Meaghan made it for me. I wuffles it.

Check it out:


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Date:2003-11-19 01:12
Subject:Fucking KIDS!!!

Oh goddamned!... ok, rant coming... I'll try to keep it short and I'll also pist something lighter and funner soon....

These fucking kids. I know too many.. have known too many little shit assholes who just want to "end it all" because its just "too much". FUCK YOU ALL!!

You are all of 20 goddamned years old. You do not live in a 3rd world country. You do not have any major infirmities. You do not have any RIGHT to desire to kill yourself.Dear fucking jesus, all these young punks who bitch about how bad life is and wanting to off themselves because they have no happiness... THEY'RE the ones not allowing themselves to have happiness!Dear god in heaven! we live in a world with sun and light and sky and water and laughter and literature and art and internet and sharing and games and humor and untold ways to entertain ourselves and late teen/early 20 assholes talk about, "Theres nothing to live for!" You do not suffer daily, AGONIZING physical pains of such sufferage that would make death a viable alternative, you do not face a dily existence with no hope of a improvement that you should think of death, and before you bitch about how bad you have it, yes, this is a case where you have to look at it in perspective. You do NOT live in a warzone, you are not a junkie crackwhore, you do not try to survive in a world where you have no food or hope of life... all these assholes I'm talking about/too... YOU LIVE IN FUCKING AMERICA!!! For the most part, you all live in homes that have heat, food, gasoline in YOUR OWN GODDAMNED CARS, you have jobs, money, outlets to go waste time.

OK... rant over... I'm just so furious because bitching puppy dog seems to think that all his problems and all his soultions rest on Jen's shoulders... its called take care of your OWN life moron. You know why Jen and I like each other? Becuase we COULD survive without the other. It wouldn't be fun, we really really wouldn;t want to, but yeah, we could do it. Neither of us is a fucking parasite unable to live and enjoy life on our own. We don't need to knock on peoples windows at 1 am to tell them about our perceived multiple personalities wanting to end it all...You NEED her attention, dude, get a fucking life. Learn how to read... get a library card, if you have to sink into a fantasy world sink into literature you dumb fuck. Because this fantas of you ever getting with Jen is just that... a goddamned fucking fantasy. Remember.. a LONG time ago... before I even was thinking of her beyond wistfulness, I told you.. snap judgment..."She's too much for you." I meant it... it was never a joke. Grow the fuck up and learn how to fucking live life on your own. All this "waaaahhhh... nothing gives me joy....except you" thats fucking childish. That would make her into nothing but your goddamned security blanket. Get out and find something else. Do something with yourself. Get help, because you are really pissing people off.

"No one knows how bad it is" I know thats what is going through your mind. Kiss my ass. You think you are the first person to know pain and suffering and not be happy with life? Go piss up a rope and stop wasting people's time.

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Date:2003-11-17 13:02
Subject:Couldn't resist....

As Celebrity Jeopardy Sean Connery would put it....

"I'll take the rapists for 500."

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Date:2003-11-14 15:25
Subject:Dear friends....

So as to get rid of that ugly little drama, heres something much more lighthearted.... if anyone counts themselves as my friend, don't ever let me have a jack in the box philly cheesteak again. Those things are... mean to me. *whimper*

two funny random quotes from my customers...

"Man DDR is hard, it makes me sweat like a pimp with one ho." (I kid you know, he said this)

"Back off man, or I'll shank you in the head with a cow!" (thats just a frightening image)

oh, and another literary quote..very nice one...

"It's not as daunting the second time. I wished later I could have started with the second time. But the only way to get to the second time is to do the first time. Seems paradoxical, that the fastest way to get to easy is through hard." - Viles Vorkosigan as written by Lois Mcmaster Bujold "Komarr"

oh and one last cool funny. Dennis Miller "People say live your life like you did before September 11th. Well, truth to be told folks, I hated insane foreign assholes who wanted to kill me on September 10th of that year!"

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Date:2003-11-14 12:37
Subject:Defining moments...

Haven't posted in a few days...been busy enjoying life on one hand and hating it on the other. On the one side, I have Jen and life is glorious and every minute we spend together is so nice. On the other, the store is kicking my buttocks every wich way. My account went red and I've spent the past week scraping together money to just try to get my bank account in the positive again. Ok, now that the light fun stuff is cleared up......

Jen gave me something and she gave me full liscense to do whatever I want with it...shes kind of pissed right now. You know why? Because attempted nonconsensual sex is called attempted rape. (for those who don't know, it most definitley wasn't me) She went over to a friends house to kill time and watch anime. She fell asleep. She woke up to find this 'friend', naked, and tugging at her bra, with her pants allready pulled off her. Then, after she left (ina bit of a furious rush) Phillip has the balls to write a note, and think this will fix things. Phillip, you're not just an asshole, you're sick. You're an attempted rapist. And you try to explain it? Or excuse it?

Here are highlights... and remember boys and girls... he tried to RAPE her!

"I will always still love you. It doesn't matter what you say right now, because I truly do love you.".... it doesn't matter what you say? Hey, I'm all for rights to emotion, so you believe by your twisted definition that you 'love' her. So fucking what. That doesn't mean she has to listen to you, accept you, or even tolerate you. Because, especially if you DID love her, it WOULD matter what she said. If she said fuck off and stay away from me, if you loved her, you would, asshole.

"I will wait for the day I can be alone with you again, without having to worry about myself." .... Ok, the first part of that statement really makes you sound like a stalker, and the second part makes you sound psychotic. hmmm... maybe because you're an obsessive psycho freak!

"I will still try to talk to you, ....and I'll try to see you at school."... Dude, get the point! respect the point. When the woman runs yelling after you just tried to assault her... and when she tells you to go to hell and stay away from her... well lets just say that people who love someone will respect their fucking wishes! You are obsessed! And you need to stay the fuck away before Jen has the cops tell you to stay away. Have you heard of 'restraining order'? If you persist, I will urge Jen to get one you asshole!

Here is the big kicker.. I LOVE this one...you sick fuck... "I'm sorry I couldn't control myslef. But still, I warned you, and you said there was nothing to be afraid of. Well I'm scared again.".... Like its her fault becasue she ignored your warning. Shifting the blame to her... its her fault for being desirable, because how can he be expected to control his desires? You fucking rapist asshole.

"Even after this, I'll do my best to be who I am, and to go back with you." You obsessed freak. You sad little man. Jen does NOT love you. It WILL NOT happen. I urge her to, and she is considering restraining orders. She doesn't want you around, she doesn't want to talk to you. She was willing and happy to be your friend, but now, she wants nothing to do with you. Just because you had a relationship once, doesn't mean you are entitled to get it again. It doesn't mean you have the right to expect or to even try to take any part of her beyond what she offered. And all she offered you small minded monster was friendship. And you abused that past the point of no return. You violated her trust in an attempt to violate her.

I see it in your sullen little beady eyes. You look on her with such an ill disguised, longing, covetous gaze. You want her, you don't love her you prick, you want her, and you just proved that you'll try to take her, WITHOUT her permsiion. It is not safe for her to be around you. It is not safe for you to be around her. You are a vile prick and a sick man. Your obsession is frightening and you need treatment. Responsible, thinking, loving adults do NOT do what you do mister.. if it was up to me, I'd have you drug into the street and put down like any other mad dog. "Love you dammit"? hah, after this, I don't know if I, or Jen for that matter will do aught but spit on you.

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Date:2003-11-02 16:01
Subject:SICK of drama and assumptions

Drama and assumptions and gossip drive me up the wall, you know? My last post... overreaction? Maybe I was just about at this damn point anyway...and this was just the straw. Anyone ever think of that? I mean geezus, did it ever occur to anyone to ASK why I posted that or decided that? Maybe I was getting tired of being peoples assumed teddy bear. The exact opposite of but the same as the standard of everyone (female) hitting me. Maybe I was getting goddamned tired of it. Just like how a few months ago I got tired of everyone thinking they could take a free slap or shot at me whenever I cracked jokes and I cracked back on everyone, I'm going through the same thing now. I am NOT everyones goddamned teddybear. I resent how people just assume they can nuzzle me or jump me or sit in my chair or take over my stuff. Maybe...ASK!

Oh and Jen...no matter what is going on with me...with you... is it equal to or more important than the base? This whole "He and I need to talk... he and I need to figure this out... he and I etc. etc.etc." Simplicity is me. The base. You sit there and nod your head and agree when your listening to me but then you go off on wails and problems and stuff. SImple. Simple is nice. Simple is easy.

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Date:2003-11-01 14:00
Subject:Serious note

Ok....this is a notice to any and all of my female friends....with possible special emphasis on Meaghan. As of now I am a total off limits. I will not hug or cuddle or nuzzle or nip or touch or peck on the cheek or forehaed or any part of any female. Please do not hug me, please do not nuzzle me, please do not kiss me. Just as I changed my store hours to accomodate and neutralize any of the store arguements or fears of my aiding truants, I am now changing my persoanl relation policy to neutralize any and all concerns of people.

I am serious.

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Date:2003-10-30 17:48
Subject:trick or...hey, waitaminute!!

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
ATHOSRAY goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Musketeer.
blackroselost gives you 17 purple grape-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
deathtoall gives you 5 purple spearmint-flavoured gummy fruits.
jenthamuppet tricks you! You get a rock.
kiarachan gives you 6 light blue root beer-flavoured gummy worms.
nightmarexx14 gives you 16 red vanilla-flavoured gummies.
phoenixgoddess gives you 1 tan vanilla-flavoured gumdrops.
purple_chica gives you 13 orange chocolate-flavoured jelly beans.
skankerzero gives you 18 dark green tropical-flavoured gummy bats.
wideopentears tricks you! You lose 47 pieces of candy!
xshiax tricks you! You get a pencil.
ATHOSRAY ends up with 29 pieces of candy, a rock, and a pencil.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

and the sad thing is I could easily see Muppet giving me a rock, jen stealing half my candy and rachael giving me a pencil

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Date:2003-10-24 13:39
Subject:Death of Dreams

I like my store....I enjoy it, I enjoy having it, I enjoy running it. I don't know how long it will last. I'm starting to have problems. Students (and, very admittidly) stoners hang out here. They buy sodas and come here at lunch, and then come back in the afternoon. I tolerate them because they do buy drinks and what not. But apparantly, the law, and the school, and now my leasing agent don't. The school (western hills HS)is claiming I provide a spot for truants to skip. The police are starting to make noise... and my leasing agent, who I formerly thought was supporting me, took one look at "a hundred kids" (try 30...MAX..more like 20-25) hanging out at lunch (and buying sodas and snacks) and told me that the kids are a porblem and inconveinence to the surrounding businesses and that he won't renew my lease when it comes up. Apparantly, because I attract a younger market crowd, they come here to hangout and come here to play games, I'm also being held accountable for their "animal" behavior. (thats a quote from the leasing agent) They "spit on windows, and make rude gestures to the other stores, and beat on doors" instead of actually witnessing these events or trying to instruct them not to, it seems as if its simpler to just make me go away, and then make them go away. I shifted my hours to no longer be open during school hours so as to discourage truancy, I remained open at lunch so I could benefit from the off campus lunch crowd and the snacks and sodas they buy, it looks like these people want me to either close down for good, or at least probably not open until 5pm. I can feel the dream evaporating... I thought this place would work....damn...like everything else I touch, "something" happens and it blows up in my face.

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